Polio Source- Brianne Waters

http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.0040073#close

Using Google Scholar, I found this article which gives an in-depth look at the suspicions of the West that caused the people of Nigeria to fight for so long against the polio vaccination. Kano, Zamfara, and Kaduna, all political and religious leaders of Nigeria, forbid parents to vaccinate their children. America’s war with Iraq caused Nigerian leaders to believe that the nation was against all Muslims. This led to many suspicions including the fear that the vaccine could contain HIV, cancerous agents, or anti-fertility agents.

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This entry was posted in A05: White Paper Polio, Brianne Waters. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Polio Source- Brianne Waters

  1. davidbdale says:

    Not bad, Brianne, though I doubt you shelled out the 37 dollars to download the full paper, did you? The abstract has certain value as a resource, but very little as a source for citing. It can’t be considered a primary source since it’s not written by the author but instead by someone from the content provider (in this case, Taylor & Francis Online). So, bottom line: Google Scholar is fine, the source can be presumed to be useful, you have completed the assignment AND:

    • You wouldn’t be able to use the abstract as a source
    • It’s hard to say how much you can actually have learned from it
    • It’s unclear whether the people distrust their government because of healthcare initiatives or for other reasons
    • briannewaters3 says:

      Hey Professor, I’m really sorry about this assignment. I know it’s pretty weak. I thought it was just an exercise on finding a source and so I didn’t know it was supposed to be real in-depth until after. I had a rough beginning of this week and thought this was simply just finding a related source. I will gladly find a better source if you want me to. Again, I’m really sorry.

  2. davidbdale says:

    Thanks, Brianne. I love this source and have added it to the sidebar as a resource for my own Polio paper. You’ve certainly improved your grade with this. Let me use your post to help you with a couple small items. Your second sentence misses two opportunities. It can compel your reader to read sentence three; it can provide a smooth transition to the important argument that follows. You say:

    This article gives an in-depth look at why the people of Nigeria fought for so long against the polio vaccination.

    Which is fine, but which contains the very vague: “why the people fought.” If instead it said:

    This article gives an in-depth look at the suspicions of the West that caused the people of Nigeria to fight for so long against the polio vaccination.

    you’d have both made a claim and intrigued readers to go on.

    In most cases, a straightforward positive is far superior to a complicated negative. Replace

    demanded parents to not allow their children to receive the vaccine

    with

    forbid parents to vaccinate their children

    and you’ll see what I mean.

    Your causal argument is certainly intriguing and you lay down all the steps.
    1. Leaders forbid vaccination
    2. Because America attacked Iraq.
    3. Which proved America is hostile to Muslims
    4. Which caused suspicion of the entire West.

    Your final sentence is also a causal argument, but a confusing one.
    1. This (the forbidding? the suspicion? the War? the vaccination effort? the entire causal chain?) is an isolated incident.
    2. Something (the chain? the fact that the incident is isolated? the belief that the incident is isolated?) is the result of Nigeria’s rocky relationship to health service.

    Can you rephrase in fewer than 100 words? 🙂

  3. briannewaters3 says:

    This has now been updated, edited, and rephrased in fewer than 100 words. I’m not sure if you would like to take another look.

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